When you think about every relationship you have, romantic, family, work and all the others do you realise that, no matter how it may seem, that you have control over them all.
I often describe relationships like a dance. Every one is a set of steps where two people play their role, responding perfectly to whatever the other does eventually ending up in a whole range of beautifully choreographed set of trigger and response.
Think about it. Choose a close relationship that you are part of. I guarantee there are things they do that you will always respond to in a perfectly conditioned way (whether that’s positive or negative is irrelevant!). There are ways they say your name, ways they look at you, ways they walk, talk, move and you respond the same way every single ruddy time. You have been choreographed. You are part of the dance.
The thing to realise is that a dance like this takes two people. You cannot waltz alone. And, whether you are the leader or follower, if you change your steps in this dance the simple fact is that the dance MUST change.
One of my favourite phrases is ‘it’s not them, it’s you’. The dance will never change if you wait for the other person to lead. It’s down to you.
So ask yourself, what’s the step that takes your dance where you don’t want it to go? What’s that thing you do that takes the dance to that same ruddy place every ruddy time?
What would happen if you change it? What would happen if you stopped that ‘step’? What would happen if you simply stopped accepting that the dance has to be danced the same way every single time.
Make the dance the dance you want to dance….wooft, try saying that 3 times quickly!!!