There is one realisation above all others that, when I got it, understood it and began to live by it, allowed me to truly find myself in my relationship, career, family life, everywhere. I take great pleasure in teaching it to as many people as I can so they can now do the same. That realisation is this…
There Are NO Rules.
Let me explain a wee bit more… In order to make sense of the world, your mind has been creating rules for life since you were a baby. It’s a useful skill. The world would be a complicated place if you had to remember how the world worked every morning you woke up, wouldn’t it?
But we begin to think these rules are permanent and that’s what causes us problems. Our life and our rules don’t match up and we try and try and effort and effort to make our lives match this arbitrary set of rules so that we can be happy rather than just letting life be what it is and bending our rules to match. Does that make sense?
Can I add here that I’m talking personal rules, not societal rules. Societal rules, e.g. smacking someone in the mouth for no reason is bad(!), are good things and allow us to live in happy, settled communities that get on. Breaking societal rules tends to lead to bad things, like jail or being banished from the village. Anyway, back to it…
Our personal rules cause us to do two things;
1. Work too hard to make our world match our bullsh*t rules…rather than being flexible enough to let our rules change to accommodate the world we have created for ourselves.
2. Hold ourselves back from doing what we really want to do because either our ‘rules’ (or the rules we completely imagine other people have) say we shouldn’t/can’t…rather than realising the rules don’t actually exist anywhere apart from within our own minds and we totally made them up.
And this is the point. Where are these rules written down? Why is it that the rule that applies to you is different from the rule that applies to me? Why is that that you look at that person doing the thing you want to do and think their rules are different from yours?
Will I tell you why? It’s because every rule you live by, you made up. The rules are a lie. They don’t exist.
You can do anything you want to do. You can be anyone you want to be. You can do that thing any goddam way you want to do it. You can be the first, the innovator, the model we all look to, the bees feckin knees but first you need to throw off the shackles of a lifetime of rules that have been formed from the opinions of other people and make your own…or is doing that against the rules?
This is your time to dig deep and have the courage to say ‘this is me and this is what I do’. When you realise there is no rule that says you can’t.
Be yourself. Do good things.