I decided to have a day off today. After the hard work and awesome experience of the Practitioner course delivery last week, I thought I’d put my feet up.
I found that more difficult than I expected.
Isn’t it interesting how, when we go and give ourselves space to relax, when we have nothing to do, nowhere to be and no one to answer to, how one word can totally f##k up your whole day?! And, just to add to the stupidness of the whole situation, the single word that messed up the whole day is a word I said to myself.
That word was ‘should’.
‘Should’ is a powerful, powerful word. It’s a word that implies, to me anyway, rules, conditions and expectations yet these rules, conditions and expectations tend to have no basis in reality (as mine didn’t today). We end up in a place of stress and general pissed offness…ABOUT NOTHING!
It was mental, I knew as I sat and contemplated lunch that there was nothing to do today yet I felt fidgety and as if I ‘should’ be doing something. I took the dog for a big walk, it seemed to fulfil my unconscious desire to keep myself busy, at least for a few minutes, and gave me a chance to have a good talk to myself!
You see the rules, conditions and expectations that come with ‘should’ are largely bullsh!t. They are conditions we have applied to our life so as we can ‘fit’ some sort to social or personal convention. We tell ourselves we shouldn’t do things we want to do and we should do things we despise, all to make sure we are ticking the boxes of some invisible checklist that is being maintained by some invisible person who will ‘tut’ and then shake their head in a disapproving manner if we don’t perform as expected.
That’s what I was doing today. I was worried that if I didn’t continue to work hard that ‘someone’ (I honestly have no idea who) may think I was being lazy or skiving off. It was such bo!!ocks, honestly!! My mind was worried about being ‘lazy’ when I’m the boss! I may give myself a verbal warning in the morning for being a d!ck and worrying about nothing and ruining my day off. I really should know better (see, there I go again!).
Anyway, in the end I have actually done very little today and on the whole feel refreshed and happier for it. The world didn’t end, my family still love me and my business managed to make it through 24hours with me doing very little to it. Tomorrow is planned much the same way and, you know what, I’m going to enjoy tomorrow and make the most of it.
Well, at least I should! 😉
Take a moment. Realise the most important thing is what you think of yourself. If you can look in the mirror an respect and love the person you see looking back then there I nothing more you ‘should’ do. Every day is filled with choices. Your job is just to keep making the one that seems to make sense at the time. You can do nothing more. When you do that, there are no more ‘shoulds’.
Have a good evening and do good things