I was out walking the dog tonight and, as I was approaching home, I found myself commenting inside my head on how mental it is to be walking in early September in crazy wind and rain and how Scotland has never really seen the sun this summer at all. It was your stereotypical Scottish whine about the sh!te summer! We’re well practised, aren’t we?!
Anyway, as I was walking listening to myself moan, I looked up and through the clouds saw a little patch of blue sky hiding behind the rain clouds. It was there, tantalising me with its promise of cool winds and strong sun, teasing me with its blueness and lack of clouds. And then I thought of something…
What the hell is moaning about it actually getting me?
Sometimes one of the most challenging mental skills to allow yourself to do easily is Acceptance. It’s actually easier to moan about something or get annoyed about something that to accept it. It’s like our minds are off hunting for some sort of justice, as if by whinging about it the people in charge of ‘it’ , whatever the hell ‘it’ is, will get it sorted.
But it doesn’t work like that does it? In fact all it does is piss us off.
I remember a phrase I heard early on in my training (I apologise to the author ‘cos I can’t remember who said it), it said ‘if you argue with reality, you’ll lose 100% of the time‘. That has always stuck with me. To moan about reality is as futile an exercise as moaning that the earth is round or that night time is dark. It gets you nowhere, changes nothing and only serves to make you feel crap.
This also applies to refusing to accept many of life’s darker things. Relationships end, people get sick, people lose their jobs, people change, things break, people don’t listen, sometimes people say nasty things. You can probably add some more to that list. But moaning about it and refusing to let it settle in your mind wont change it.
Acceptance. By accepting that it has happened, accepting the situation as it is, accepting reality, you enter a space where you can decide how to make the best of whatever it is that has happened. In some cases the best thing may be to stand your ground, fight perhaps? In others it may be to move on. But either way you do so from a much calmer and more ‘resourceful’ place.
So as you read this, wherever you are, ask yourself this; How would your life change now if you accepted that your life as it is at this very moment is exactly how it is meant to be?
It’s still raining outside. I don’t care, I’m inside anyway.