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It’s easy to become fixated on our problems being external to us.  You know, we blame the food, the drink, the fags, the drugs and call them ‘the problem’. 

Stop kidding yourself on! The ‘thing’ isn’t the problem, you are!

See the only reason you eat the food, smoke the fag etc. is because your mind has decided that it is the quickest way it has got of meeting a key, unconscious need.  The question is which one.  Here’s a very basic model that you can use to diagnose which need your ‘thing’ meets – 

Stability – the need to have peace, quiet and to stop the noise, stop the stress

Variety – the need to get the buzz, to alleviate the boredom

Connection – the need to not feel alone, to be part of something

Or finally,

Status – the need to feel special/cool/different, like you are an individual who makes their own choices

It doesn’t matter how ‘sorted’ you think your life is, you even do the good stuff like exercise, ambition and creativity to get these needs met.

So ask yourself, which are you?

Once you know which fits you.., stop bloody blaming the ‘thing’. The cake doesn’t eat itself! The hangover isn’t delivered by magic fairies during the night! The dodgy pill didn’t just soak through your skin. It was you that did it, you chose it. 

However, the realisation that it’s not about the food, drink, drugs or whatever and that it’s actually about your unconscious needs gives you the freedom to make one more choice.

What would be a better thing to do instead?

Anyway, for many of you the magic hangover fairies are probably due in a few hours so think about this once you’ve promised yourself you’ll never do it again!!

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