I always remember, when I was a teenager especially, believing there was someone out there for everyone. It was a convenient belief at that time because, romantically, I wasn’t the hottest ticket in town to say the least!
Now, I’m lucky enough to have a loving family around me yet as I write this I don’t know if ‘luck’ is the word for why our relationship is the way it is. And this is my wee thought for you tonight.
Every relationship takes work and often we are more willing to put work into our relationships with our colleagues than we are with the person who we profess to love. I meet many people who say to me ‘But, I’ve tried everything’…hmmmm, everything? Really?
In my experience we often end up treating ourselves in our relationships, don’t we? What I mean is we do/say what we would would like someone to do/say to us. If you love hugs, for example, you go and try and hug your partner. If you like space, you try and give your partner space. But that’s what you want…not them.
So, this weekend here’s a job for you. If your relationship is good, loving and happy then please spend some time appreciating and being grateful for what you have.
If you don’t have a relationship be happy and accept your own company. You do not need another person to complete or validate you, although I accept it would be nice! Be a good person, trust in other people and be yourself and I promise it will happen.
If your relationship is rocking (and not in a good way!) then ask yourself, is this worth saving? If it isn’t then realise you’d be happier, both of you, if you make the decision and do what you know you have to. If it is, then spend this weekend looking after your partner’s needs rather than your own. Focus only on them and, even though it might seem weird to you, give them what they want. No questions, no requirement for reciprocation. Just show them that despite the problems, the fights, the stress you still understand and love them. And then just watch what happens next…
Sometimes you need to work hard to keep the things that are most important to you. So are you ready to start?