Before I start, remember every day is a school day! Ok, ready…?
My very intelligent missus has a degree in microbiology. She’s an expert on lots of things, that you can’t see, that can kill you, make you throw up and also all the little microscopic friends that help you live every single day. One of the things I always remember from Sheena doing her degree was a thing called the ‘zone of inhibition’. Thats some name, isnt it?! The zone of inhibition happens on those little agar plates, you know the wee circle plates with the jelly stuff on them you see on CSI and stuff. Boffins put bacteria on them, let it grow everywhere and then plop some sort of antibiotic or anti microbial soap or something on it. Then what you hope for is that, around the place you put your ‘anti’ whatever, you will get a big circle of nothing at all and then, all around that circle, you get loads of bacteria. This circle of nothing shows your anti-whatever worked against that bacteria. This patch of nothing is the ‘zone of inhibition’.
I meet many people who have zones of inhibition. In regards to life’s bacteria, they have become their very own antibiotic!
For some of these people this works very well. It’s like they have a zone of bullsh!t that keeps out anyone and everyone who is likely to cause their head to hurt because of the excessive amounts of total toxic sh!te that they bring to every conversation. This is an antibiotic of choice. Their ‘zone’ isn’t barren and empty. It’s full of people who nurture them and keep them healthy and strong.
However, I also encounter a lot of people who have suddenly found themselves totally alone in their zone of inhibition, with not one person anywhere near them and with no idea how they actually got there. For so long they have allowed toxic people to poison their lives that they completely forget how to differentiate between the people that love them, care for them and nurture them and the ones who are toxic, poisonous and detrimental to their sanity.
I imagine it a little like the door to a busy club with really crap security staff. At first everyone is allowed in, then a fight breaks out so they throw everyone out. But now they have an empty club. So everyone is allowed back in again and then a fight breaks out, so everyone is chucked out again. Then the club is empty so everyone is allowed back in again…and the cycle repeats again and again and again.
But this cycle leaves damage and its this damage that causes the ‘zone’ to begin forming. Every time you open the door to let them back in again you become more and more picky about who gets past the door staff. Your ‘club’ becomes emptier and emptier with each cycle and your ‘zone of inhibition’ is growing. The question is can you stop it before you find yourself dancing alone on your own dance floor?
See, the thing about the zone is that it is the medicine that is causing the zone, not the bacteria. Does that make sense? When we start creating a ‘zone’ in our lives its easy to blame all of ‘them’ when actually the problem is us. It’s us that doesn’t let them in. Our own fear of being hurt is causing a blanket ban rather than a selective policy of admission.
Having your own bullsh!t detector = good thing. Keeping your life free of toxic people = good thing. Pushing everyone away because a specific few people have hurt you = madness.
Antibiotics have no choice. They do what they are designed to do. You, on the other hand, do have a choice.
Recognise all those that care and love you and spend time with them, even if that means, at first anyway, you spend time with no one else. Cure yourself of the toxic people in your life and push them to the very edges of your ‘zone’.
If your name’s not down, you’re not getting in. Simple as that. So p!ss off and go and bother someone else, my dance floor is only open to people ready to boogie.